Pentium II

Oh James, won't you buy me a Pentium II?
My friends all have Thinkpads, what am I to do?
Apple's gone bankrupt, I'm countin' on you.
Oh James, won't you buy me a Pentium II?

Oh James, won't you buy me a virtual CAVE,
And stereo glasses, I hear they're the rave?
This hi-tech equipment, my contracts will save.
Oh James, won't you buy me a virtual CAVE ?

Oh James, won't you get me some cash from Bill Gates?
Our Department's finances are in desperate straits.
I'll even use Windows, that system I hates!
Oh James, won't you get me some cash from Bill Gates ?

Some unperformed verses:

I read my email each day until 3:00--
That ol' Research Board ain't helping me!

Oh James, won't you buy me a digital scope?
I done asked DOE, but they jes' said "Nope!"
My feedback's phase shifted, my amps all do ring,
The lab is a shambles, I can't do a thing!

Oh James, I hear there's an HP "Kayak"
I just bought an Alpha, I'll gladly send it back,
If you'll help me reclimb the power curve.
(I'd ask for a raise, but ain't got the nerve!)

Oh James, the D-N-S has gone down again,
Please trash CCSO, an' I'll be your best friend,
Our networking expert is working for free;
We got what we paid for, poor disconnected me!

Oh James, won't you buy me a night on the town
If Bill Gates comes calling, a chair to endow?
We'll drive to Chicago, pick up Sonnenschein,
And then head to Rush Street, if'n you don't mind.

I'm sure I could convince ol' Bill to cut loose
A couple a billions to help the Chief's papoose.
We'll license the Vet School, he'll find it divine
To then sue ol' Gateway: their logo's bovine.